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Monday, March 21, 2005
Small Dog Makes Big Disturbance
Having moved to the ghetto, I, of course, contracted with ADT, the world's biggest alarm company, to protect my lovely domicile. Since the end of Oct., 2004, I have set and unset the alarm again and again without ever setting it off. That was then. This is today.
This afternoon I saw that I am a slice away from no loaf of bread and decided on a quick trip to the store. Thinking to myself that this would be just a five+ minute excursion, I did not take Pork Chop. I quickly locked her in, used my portable keypad to activate the alarm, and beat it for the ghetto grocery before they closed.
I scampered around the grocery, joshed with my usual check out guys, hot-footed it to the car, then peeled out for home.
Getting out of the car at home I thought disapprovingly, "It is so annoying when people allow an alarm to screach unattended." For sure some alarm was going way, way off. Oh, MY!!! That was one loud alarm. Then it hit me. I was criticising MY OWN alarm which just about rocked the street. Great Scott! I rushed into the house, using my key. The alarm continued until I manually turned it off at the box.
Finally Pork Chop emerged from wherever, shivering and terrified. I picked her up, went to the phone and called ADT. The woman there said, "Yes, police are on their way. Your motion sensor went off a few moments ago." Here came the police. As they approached the porch, I set the dog down, thinking that I'd speak to the officer outside. Unfortunately as I opened the door, she darted out.
The near lane of street was filled with cars of policemen...thank goodness for a fine return on my tax dollars. I rushed out screaming to a policeman, "Grab that dog. She'll be killed in traffic!!!!!"
I raced my fat self after Pork Chop and so did a policeman. He was faster than I but each time he nearly caught Pork Chop, he'd change his mind and jump back as though he were afraid of her. Then he'd sort of herd her toward me with his foot. Eventually I thought to quit chasing and just call her.
"Pork Chop! Here, baby." She came instantly. Duh.
Holding the trembling Pork Chop firmly to my heart, I said to the nice policeman, "This is confusing. I had to key myself in, so how could someone have broken into my house. However ADT said that the motion sensor went off ........and it is aimed at the hall and stairwell....and only Pork Chop......oh, my gracious. This little dog set off the alarm."
With a beautiful white-toothed smile, the officer said...in a really sweet voice, "Forget about it, Ma'am. Every single alarm call that has come into the station since I have been a member of the Norfolk Police...it was the dog's fault. Don't you worry. Next time, we'll come just as fast, in case there's a really original situation where the criminal is not the family dog," and he winked.
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