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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Benny And The Bike
One to the best things I've seen recently was Benny on his new little bike. Yesterday Lydia and the kids spent the afternoon with me. Benny from time to time checked the view from the window. He worried that rain would prevent him from showing me that he can ride his new bike. Rain fell and fell and fell and fell and fell.
Eventually Sadie's nap time came and she went upstairs into her away from home crib. Benny played all kinds of video games. He played with a toy car. He had an ice cream treat. He checked the window again and again. The rain never stopped entirely...drizzle, drip, pour, drizzle...
At last Lydia said, "Benny, if you get ready, I'll take you out for a short ride on your bike. I don't think the rain is ever going to stop today, but it isn't too bad right now. "
He broke the land speed record for putting on a pair of shoes and a bike helmet.
Lydia took the lovely new bicycle out of the back of the van. Oh, my, it's gorgeous, blue with lime green stripes.
Benny shouted, "Watch ME, Ahno. I can ride it."
And he did. Up the sidewalk and down the sidewalk, back and forth and back and forth. Given the nature of this neighborhood, Lydia was right beside him every spin of the wheel. She ran up and down and up and down and up and down.
Benny's face was as if a lamp were lit up inside of him. He just adores his new bicycle. Oh, the happiness and pride amd joy. I have never seen a child enjoy a new bicycle so much. When Lydia was little, I got a nice pink bike for her, but each time she rode it, I suggested the excursion. She didn't care for it all the much. Benny, in contrast, loves his bike as much as if it were a new puppy. It is his reward for fulfilling the 50-day violin practice challenge. This is the most meaningful reward a little boy could imagine. At home, Benny's bike sits beside Dan's racing bicycle near the front door. Benny put a chair in front of his little blue bike and told his mother, "This is for me to sit on when I check my bike to be sure it's OK." He sits on the chair from time to time and stares at the bike with love in his eyes.
It would not surprise me to learn that Benny has every toy available to a little boy in the Western Hemisphere on Planet Earth and he would be just as happy without most of that stuff. I know for a fact that some of the very expensive things he got for Christmas a couple of years ago are still unopened in the original boxes. The new bike...now that is a palpable hit. Worth every penny. He was not promised any reward, but when he did such a good job of the challenge, Dan and Lydia decided to make a memorable occasion out of his success.
The sermon I heard on Sunday was about parenting. In order to raise a child safe from temptation to do the kinds of things that destroy a life, the minister said it's important to constantly repeat, "I love you. I'm proud of you. You're wonderful. You just did a great job..." He also said, "When a kid does something really good, shake the moths out of your wallet and spend money on whatever the child considers to be a reward. That's not a bribe. It's an investment in the adult you want the child to become. Don't make promises. Do reward." Dan and Lydia didn't hear this advice, but they didn't need it.
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