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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Size Matters
Just now I dropped Porque off at the doggie beauty salon for her hair and nails appointment. They know her there and always make a fuss over her. All the girls come out to reception and ooh and aah, "Porkee Choppee, baby, OOOOOH, kisses, " and all that dog-lover rhetoric. She gets this smug, self-satisfied look on her face and blinks her eyes as if to say, "Yes, I am great. Worship me, all you fortunate people."
So that was going on when one of the girls said, "Wow. Look at that." I turned around and here came the biggest, blackest, most determined not to go to the salon Great Dane I've ever seen. A monument of a dog. It was wrangled into the salon by two handlers, each holding a strap attached to opposite sides of the dog's wide and substantial collar. Both handlers were those bulked-up, shaved-head United States Marines types, or they could be the people in the movie who wear black-tinted glasses and stand behind some mobster who ventures out into the public eye but who wants to survive the experience. Dog was giving those men a workout. Clearly it required an enormous effort to keep dog moving forward in the desired direction.
Silence in the salon except for yipping from the back room. Dog presented at the reception desk. An ultra-deep voice said, "This here is Daisy." Still silence. I think all the girls were stunned speechless. I know that I was. And Pork Chop had nothing whatsoever to say, a rare instance of good sense. The ultra-deep voice added, "You don't have to be afraid. She won't bite. And we're staying to move her around for you. The boss says we can't come home until Daisy does." Big guy smiled.
Receptionist says, "OK, girls. Who wants to groom Daisy."
Immediately every girl spoke at once, all together, "I'm doing Pork Chop." Then they had to laugh because it sounded silly but no one, seriously, wanted to groom Daisy. Lot of foot shuffling, and eye avoidance and finally one girl said, "Alright. I'll do it but somebody has to help me. And you guys," she looked at Daisy's handlers, "you have to keep her facing away from me. She doesn't ever turn her head toward me. Understand?"
"No problem," agreed deep voice.
I remained frozen in place until the Daisy entourage disappeared into the back of the salon. You know, Daisy might be a real sweetheart of a dog, but just the sight of her scared me...which doesn't take much since I am a nervous little old lady. However, the sight of Daisy also scared the staff of a salon which works with all kinds of dogs all day every day. And in my opinion, the most significant index of scariness is that Daisy was so scarey that even Pork Chop had nothing to say. Ordinarily, the bigger the dog, the louder she barks, but not this time.
Thursday, June 16, 2005 - 9:54 AM
Name:
Tessa
If Daisy was coming in for a bath, she probably really *hates* water! I remember a dog my sister had when I was six or seven. Lassie was a Welsh Collie and not that big but she hated being bathed. My sister had one of those big tin baths which she put in the middle of the back lawn and filled up with water. Lassie managed to put four paws on the side edges of the bath and refused to go in. My sister tried putting her in sideways but the dog was too strong and paws prevented entry once again. The eventual result? Water all over the lawn and a triumphant, grinning dog!
Thursday, June 16, 2005 - 6:16 PM
Name:
doubledog
Oh, right. I remember the rage I felt back in the 60's when I was no longer strong enough to muscle my 250 lb. St. Bernard into the tubby. I scheduled her for an appointment with a groomer. On the phone I truthfully stated that the reason for the appointment was that I could not longer wrestle the dog into my home bath.
The person on the phone laughed and said, "Not to worry." Arriving at the dog grooming place, I went in to reception and dolefully told them that I was not able to force my gigantic dog to participate.
The receptionist kindly said, "Just have a seat ma'am, and give me your car keys. It'll be alright. You'll see."
Sure enough. Jellybean got her bath courtesy of a man big and strong enough to wrestle an enraged hippopotamus.
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