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Monday, September 19, 2005
I Need A Secretary
Yes, this is crazy, but I am unable to open mail. Takes weeks, sometimes months for me to screw up the courage. No, this is not a case of a poor soul without money and afraid to open bills. Not at all. I can't even open a personal letter or, for that matter, obvious junk mail. I. Just. Can't.
On TV I briefly watched a bit of chitchat with a therapist about the plight of myself and my fellow sufferers from whatever the name for this is. He said, predictably, that it calls for years of yakking on the couch as well as 'support' from a variety of addictive medications. Oh, surprise.
After deliberation, I decided that I'd make a monumental effort and toil through the back stack until I managed to get myself organized on automatic pay for all of my recurring bills. That was a horrible experience, but I got it largely done. Now I don't have to think about mail having to do with house, utilities, car, communications, things like that. Which is good. But not enough. I still get mail. It still piles up. Looking at it from time to time makes my heart pound and brings on a panic attack. You see? I'm out of my mind. Scared of the mail. I need to not get mail OR I need a secretary because I certainly am not going to enter a unilaterally remunerative relationship with a therapist. And I'm not going to begin a regimen of addictive drugs. A secretary, someone to come in for a couple of hours/week and answer the mail, identify the junk mail, run everything appropriate through the shredder, slap stamps on the rest, put the envelopes into the mailbox up at the post office, and leave my desk top bare. What's wrong with that? If I needed to have a nurse come in and give me shots, there'd be nothing weird about hiring one and using her services, right? If I needed a guy to fix pipes and stop a leaky toilet bowl, there'd be nothing strange about calling a plumber, right? Right. Simple matter of paying for specialized services as needed.
So why not do the therapy route? Because 1) I'm too old, although 2) I wouldn't do it even if I were twenty years old, and 3) the alternative seems better.
Some people feel it shameful to hire a cleaning lady. Not me. I had a cleaning lady while I lived in Michigan, and I was sorry to leave her behind. It was so worth it to pay her for one day/ week and then on that day to arrive home to a house that looked clean, smelled clean, where every smooth surface had a quiet gleam, where all closets and drawers and cupboards were organized to death, where the sheets were changed, where nothing life-threatening grew in a forgotten corner of the refrigerator. She needed the money and I needed the help as well as the boost to morale. A thoroughly sensible arrangement.
Well, now that I live in a different part of the country, I no longer have this trusted employee. Since I'm retired, I don't really need a replacement for her because I don't mind doing a bit of occasional cleaning/organizing. Now I need a secretary. Yes, to hire such a person would be a direct admission of weakness. I'm going to do it, though.
Monday, September 19, 2005 - 2:26 PM
Name:
Tessa
I know exactly how that feels! I once made an effort to try to open some mail after breakfast when we would sit in the armchairs for 20 minutes or so. But hubby would think that that time of the day was just right for making small conversation so I gave up. The trouble is that I rarely open so called 'junk mail' or sort it through and throw it away, so I am surrounded by clutter. Perhaps I will look at that catalolgue again... If someone is calling, I put it all in a bag out of sight. When I do manage to bin some of it and sit back feeling smug, it all stacks up again before I know it.
Trouble is, I am just the same with magazines and clothes. I hoard everything. Perhaps, one day, I will lose a few pounds and get into those jeans again... Perhaps, I will take those magazines to the hospital waiting room.... Perhaps, I will turn over a new leaf next week! I did manage to take a pile of old towels to the dog rehoming place. I probably need to designate a weekly 'don't even think of booting up the computer' day so that I can get to grips with myself!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005 - 9:40 PM
Name:
Joanna
About hoarding...I haven't looked in the garage for a long time. Yesterday Lydia wanted to put one of Benny's riding toys out there so I unlocked the door and saw piles of boxes. No idea what's in those boxes. Stacks and stacks and stacks....
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