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Saturday, October 8, 2005
A Slooooooow Diet
When I signed up for Weight Watchers, I thought things would move along more briskly because I remember being a Weight Watcher when I was young, losing three or more pounds/week and getting really skinny in a few months. Now I'm old and it all goes more slowly due, I hear, to my decrepit metabolism. Possibly this could be fixed, with a major effort. On Thursday I sat next to a woman nearly my age who lost three and a half pounds over the last week. She, unlike me, had done an hour of hard, sweaty, heart-pounding aerobics every single day. What a hero. She deserved her success.
It's amazing, really, that I lose any weight at all. I'm not a good dieter. Yes, I sit there at meetings. Yes, I read the material they hand out. No, I don't try to remember any of it. I pretty much make it up as I go along in deference to my most recent whim. For example at breakfast today I ate roast beef and am having strong coffee with heavy cream. Seemed like a good idea because in a few minutes I'm going to be on my knees scrubbing all the way from the front door, down the hall, through the kitchen and powder room, and back to the laundry. This is my day to make the floor gleam dazzling white or get black and blue knees trying, a goal which might be more happily realized by a person who fueled up first. Also, it's pouring buckets of rain outside and will continue all day. Moldy, flea-bitten weather! Seemed like a morning for a lip-smacking good breakfast. See, that's how my diet goes.
Am I losing any weight? Sort of. A pound and a half/week. At that rate, I tell myself, by this time next year, I will have lost seventy-eight pounds and my bones will stick out, my skin will struggle to cover those bones, I'll be a walking Halloween decoration. A good thing, in fact, since statistics show that at least in a lab environment, starved rats live longer than their plumper kin. The problem is that long range view. I'm one of those people with a two-second attention span. Can I do this?
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