Monday, February 14, 2005
Scenery
Perhaps somewhere in the world someone has a more wretched, dreary, disgraceful view from their living room sofa, but I doubt it.
Looking out the window here is what I see... directly across the street, an old man has parked his astonishingly decrepit pick-up truck. The abandoned red brick house beyond him has all kinds of dreck sitting on porch and lawn. The old man is toiling arthritically about picking up this and that and adding some of what he finds to the already towering, tottering pile of junk on the back of the truck. Once in a while he performs a sorting maneuver by which I mean he pulls things off the truck and throws them into the gutter. He has smashed a number of glass items there. To the smashed glass he added several strips of metal and some empty cans. Sure is going to be a dangerous place to park a car when he gets finished. Hard on the tires. This old man is one of the dreary items on the landscape.
Moving along, I come to the yellow apartments. beside them stands a double row of trash receptacles. The blue ones are strictly for recyclables. It is completely totally forbidden to put plastic bags, food waste, dirty diapers, etc into the recycle tubs. Oh well. The first three containers over there are blue ones and they are stuffed to overflowing with no-no's. The lids won't close and trash is all over the ground. Garbage pickup is four days away. Beyond those three overstuffed containers stand thirteen empty containers.
These trash holders are probably 10 feet from the front door of the first yellow apartment building. Standing in that always open doorway is a fat drunk. He is throwing up. What comes out is red. Must be wine. Once in a while he leans over enough to get the throw-up away from his clothes and onto the sidewalk. Sometimes he just stays up straight and lets the vomit stream down his front. Fortunately rain is coming down in buckets so if he stays there long enough, Mother Nature may kind of hose him off.
Moving along the front of that building, we come to the corner where wires from the electric pole run over to the meter box. Someone tied together the strings of a pair of sneakers and tossed them over this electric line. That bit of urban whimsy has been here at least as long as I have. Since the electric line comes across from my side of the street, those shoes have hung over one lane of traffic all last fall and winter.
Now we come to the front of the second yellow brick apartment building. Spread around on the sidewalk are several old, rotten sofas plus some other housekeeping items. No one has called for special garbage pickup so those things have sat there for quite a while. They're already finding a purpose. Last evening a group of loungers sat there watching as a man pulled along curbside in a falling apart car, got out, took a bald tire out of the other side of the front seat...and with a length of frayed rope tied the tire to the front of his car, running the rope through holes in the hood and the grill. Since he only tied the tire at the top, the bottom of it thumped around as he drove away. Those sofasitters, comfortable on the sidewalk, were loudly amused.
OK, so that's the view from my front window today. As I sat with my breakfast coffee, here came little groups of school children through the rain, past all the trash, past smashed glass and metal, right by the vomitting wino, the old junk stealer, and all the dingbat furniture.
Across the street from all that, at the foot of the porch steps I can see my containers of blue and white pansies. They look very nice, but are a small counterbalance to everything else.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Progress
This A.M. was so warm and sunny that I had breakfast coffee on the porch with no jacket. Very cheery.
Another nice thing...there's a woman at church who has battled brain cancer for over a year. Last fall I went along as Lydia took her to a chemo appointment, and at that time she really did not look like a person who was going to be around come next summer. This morning I noticed that her hair is growing back. She was able to walk without help and was bright and chirpy. This week she had another MRI and there is no evidence of any cancer whatsoever.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
The Little Pig Was Up Early....
You remember that story about the little pig who could not get to the fair before the big bad wolf arrived? Right then. Imagine a little old lady....me....toiling her way toward the ghetto grocery at 6:45 A.M. today, dragging along the collapseable shopping cart, hoping to arrive and return before the people in the yellow apartments are up and out. The journey outward bound seemed a bit cold for this time of year in this place. I actually had to wear a jacket and I stopped to blow my nose several times. The nice part was that no one but me was out and about. I had all streets to myself...no running across the intersection where toys and a photo on the street light identify the last person to get smashed to death at that spot. I just strolled along and enjoyed the trip. Yes, I did have to pause to engage an elderly drunk in conversation. He insisted and I was glad to oblige. I have no idea what he was trying to tell me because his down-south accent was so thick it could not have been cut with a knife. He seemed to be satisfied that I listened and made sympathetic noises.
Later at the store I had the place to myself and the employees. The checkout was "manned" by their triplefast clerk and a huge, cheerful and funny college boy attending Old Dominion University up the road a few blocks. We all had a bunch of laughs and jokes and the college boy packed my groceries into the collapseable cart far more sensibly than any previous baggers have done. It's hard to pack one of these carts, and if done wrong, the soup cans are halfway to the ground before I reach the SoapSuds Car Wash.
Going home I only met a young man who carried a huge Santa's sack of dirty clothing and in his other hand was a gallon-sized jug of Cheer detergent. He gave me a big, gleaming white smile and a "God Bless". Also, on the way home, the air was warmer.
Whew! I made it all the way home before 8:00 A.M. Just as I reached my sidewalk, the school bus next door fired up. I waited to see who was driving today. It was sonny-boy. He said that he was going to drive neighborhood basketball teams to their games. These good people work all week at their jobs and on evenings and weekends coach basketball, football, and boxing for local youth. They bought a used school bus in order to more conveniently haul the kids to games/events. Nice.
So I was up early and now am home again. Saturday. It's all good so far.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Spring Weather
Sunshine and warm temperatures. Across the street on Wednesday the police made three visits between 5:00 P.M. and midnight. At one point from my upstairs office window I counted 38 young men fighting like lunatics. A young girl wore a bikini top and short shorts and was bumping and grinding her way through the throng of fighters. It was completely crazy. I, on the other hand, am extremely sleepy. If I sit down for a few minutes, I fall asleep in the chair. Two different ways in which spring fever may reveal itself.
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
Those Least Able
How God avoids discouragement, is beyond me. Consider all the beautiful, and talented children God makes each day, sets them on their way through life with more than sufficient advantages. By the time they're grown up, how many of those special editions of the human race are of a mind to do God's work in the world? Almost none. Most gladly take credit for their superiority to others, spend their lives patting themselves on the back, and chiefly contribute to their own well being. God's work is so seldom done by the A Team. It is done, however. Those least able are the willing ones. Whoever places him/herself on the path to God's goals finds him/herself skilled to do the necessary work. Weak and sick people find themselves strong enough. Those born without gifts discover that they can sing, draw, speak, entertain. The too-shy see themselves talking to others in need of well-intended human contact. The poor begin to give in spite of their lack of resources and discover that they have more than enough. The unattractive begin to smile where a smile will do some good and those who see the smiles think, "What a beautiful face." Often I remember the story of Jesus' disciples on their walk to Emmaus after the resurrection. The important words in the story are these, "While they were in the way, He met them." Exactly. God meets the willing as they place themselves on the way to do His work...and He makes them able. So there is never an excuse to avoid doing what one's heart indicates should be attempted. Once a person starts, is "in the way", God provides all the necessary ability. As I'm older and more delapidated, I forget this and allow myself shirk. So here I remind myself..."Walk into something impossible."
Good News
Good news; After toiling through paperwork since last night at about 6:00, I finally found all the items the department of motor vehicles claims to need in order to issue me a new driver's license and auto license plate + registration. Scene fraught with gloom, horror, tension, loudly uttered terms of oppobrium, etc throughout the search period. Now, I am under no illusions. Whether or not I have all the "necessary" documents, no doubt I will find that I need MORE of something or other. However, I have at least gone over the first hurdle and am on my way toward licensure in the State of Virginia.
More good news; the sun is shining and outside the temps are in mid 60's. This is a beautiful day.
More good news; it's Shrove Tuesday and tonight is the church Pancake Dinner and Pancake Race. Since all church dinners are prepared by a church member who could be chef at a gourmet restaurant, this means that although the menu only features pancakes, they will be really good. I have no clue about the Pancake Race, but it sounds goofy...and that's a good thing.
Monday, February 7, 2005
I Don't Care Why
Big on the front page of Section A of the Sunday paper was the case of a person sitting on death row. He's important because a few years ago his case went to the Supreme Court which ruled that he could not get fried because he's stupid, IQ lower than 70 at that time. Now, sadly for him, he has been retested and he's smarter so the state is going to send him back to the store. Yes, his IQ has gone up about 18 points, due, it seems, to association with his attorneys over the years. Yes, that was the claim. Anyway those smartenizing attorneys of his say that his IQ NOW is irrelevant. The important score according to them was the one he racked up during the appeals process after his original trial. Whatever. I don't care why he did the murder and the other 16 horrendous crimes prior to his arrest. He did that stuff so he has to go. Strict liability about sums up my attitude.
Further, this doctrine should be applied locally to those who merely annoy me. I am not entertained by the residents across the street. Yes, yes, no doubt they are all completely pitiful, probably IQ deprived, did not have an advantaged childhood, etc. So what? No mercy. They have to go. Why am I so cranky? Well it's about two of their recent offenses. For one thing they have lately got a thing going where one of them with a car sits out front waiting for all the others going on whatever mission has 'em up and about. The one in the car honks the horn and then does it again and again. It has gone on for as long as 48 minutes. Seems like all weekend long, they were waiting and beeping. In a fair world their car battery would expire, but nothing about 38th Street is fair. Then their second offense. Those people are loud, supernaturally so. Several of the young male specimens are loud enough to set off a seismograph in China. So on Friday afternoon I discovered in the middle of making dinner that I needed milk...the stuff in the fridge had gone left. The store on the corner is only a half block away. I nerved myself up and set out. The loud persons were outside, saw me and started yelling their entire vocabulary which did not require them to remember more than 5 words. Nothing they said made sense. They just made noise. When I came level with them, they crossed the street to my side, two behind me and one in front. The one in front shut up because while walking backwards, he was precision spitting at me. Kind of like those old westerns where the bad guy shoots around someone's feet to "make him dance". The boys behind roared their senseless dirty-word noise into my ears; the one in front walked backwards and spit. I was hemmed in by hatefulness. What did I do? I plastered a vague smile on my face and began to hum...and kept on going toward the store on the corner. All the way, they roared and spit and I smiled and hummed. At the door to the store, the two behind me went in with me. Spitter stayed outside. I grabbed a box of milk and got in line at the checkout. The two from behind me had each taken a bottle of pop and got in line in front of a huge fat woman. Mistake. She yelled at them everything a normal person would think who observed their performance. At first they laughed and acted tough, but she got to them so bad they set down the pop and went outside. Changing of the guard. Spitter came in and shoved into line in front of her. She went ballistic, just shrieked at him all kinds of perfectly fair abuse. He couldn't take it and HE LEFT TOO. Whew. My hat is off to the fat lady but she is not enough. I want the beepers, the yellers and the spitter to all get a capital sentence and have it administered regardless of exculpatory circimstances. Soon. There is no excuse for human conduct of this nature. Yes, I know that I am ranting, but I have been sorely tried of late.
More Crabby Ranting
Things I do not want or need, they're breeding in the dark at the back of every closet in this house. For instance unidentifiable cords and outmoded peripherals...I have piles of that stuff. Any time I wade in and get rid of a lot of olde electronics, I seem to have more of it the next time I notice such stuff. When did I become the owner of at least 300 zip disks full of home made graphics and animations? That's crazy. On the other hand, what I absolutely can not live without, where is it? For instance, where is the remote for the upstairs back bedroom TV? I haven't seen it since moving in here. This can not be the fault of packers for the moving company because they conscientiously packed even dirty kleenexes. Another for instance...where is my ratchafratch, refried birth certificate???@%$^* At one time in the last month I had it and everything else necessary to take along when getting a license plate and car registration in this state. Now I have searched for two weeks and WHERE IS THAT FILE FOLDER?
Friday, February 4, 2005
Fat, Useless Toys
I HAVE GOT TO VISIT THE TOY STORE!!! Have you seen the new Inaction Heroes? Out of shape loser adult dolls? Is that for real? I saw a commercial and wanted to rush right out and buy. The mom makes her adult son ride in the shopping cart so he doesn't get kidnapped. Pull the string and Mom says six different guilt-inducing things. Tell me this wasn't just a bit of comedy.
Thursday, February 3, 2005
You've Got To Have A Dream
Here's a problem; how, if at all, might one go about getting all the people to move from the apartments across the street, and then getting those apartments torn down? Surely I have not spent a lifetime crafting answers and solutions only to be foiled at the last by that shabby pile of yellow brick, crack heads, prostitutes, child molesters, welfare frauds, and burglers. I need workable ideas. Anything. I'm not getting anywhere.
One day a Jehovah's Witness came along wanting to chew my ear. I told him that before I'd listen to him, he'd have to go over there and convert at least one adult in each of the twelve apartments. No, he has made no progress. As a matter of fact, he looked across the street, scratched his head, and said, "Not me." Some kind of chicken missionary he turned out to be.
Then I thought of setting up a web cam in my office window and recording the video feed every night until I got enough evidence for the police to finally and forever bust that dump. First, of course, I would have to get the necessary hardware and set up a wireless network reaching the upstairs front. Given the pace at which I adopt new technology, this is never going to happen. OK. Then completely screwball ideas. For example, I remember at one time spending quite a while reading web sites re. homemade propulsion devices. There are many varieties of hand-tooled potato launcher and catapult. I wondered if, should I spend time collecting roadkilled small animals and trapping rats, it might be feasable to launch dead animals onto the roofs over there, onto the porches, between the buildings...and just keep it up until the smell drove everyone away. Aha. Now you begin to recoil in horror. You say to yourself, "This Doubledog is crazy. She's going, sooner or later, to become a resident of the loony bin." Well, hey. I just thought of it. I didn't do it...chiefly because I couldn't think of a way to do it without being caught sometime in midlaunch, a dead rat hurling across the street from a spot on my porch...and me trying to cough up a sensible explanation for what would be completely idiotic to anyone not really fed to the teeth with the wretched Cracke Arms.
Another wacko idea was the incentive program I imagined. I thought, "What if I made up a lovely, official-looking bit of mail and sent a copy to each apartment...proclaiming March to be 38th Street Home Improvement Month on behalf of a nonexistent neighborhood do-good society. I could announce prizes for the best-maintained residences of various sorts on this street...a house category, an apartment category...with prizes to be window boxes of flowers or something. The idea was that if those freaks were competing with one another re. whose frontage was the best maintained, they might experience a corresponding improvement in behavior. Yes, I know. Crazy idea. I didn't do it. In order for that idea to have a hope, the intended letter recipients would have to be able to read...something I seriously doubt is true.
So there you have the cream of my cogitations..all of it crazy. I need some sound thinking of the sort that would lead to the desired result. No, don't e-mail me brightly, "Why don't you buy those places, evict the tenants, and demolish the buildings yourself?" Someone bought one of the buildings just before Christmas, got rid of half the tenants, repaired and refurbished...and now has even worse tenants than those who were turfed out. Apparently there is some ordinance in effect which will keep The Cracke Arms badly occupied in perpetuity...something to the effect that once a landlord qualifies a place for low-income tenantry, he is not able to pick and choose new customers, must take whoever is at the top of the waiting list at the welfare office. Also, the landlord may not evict except for egregious offenses scrupulously documented over a long period of time. AND it is nearly impossible to get all the tenants out at one time, so given that a landlord would have to maintain the building for at least one crackhead, he'd no doubt feel he owed himself the rental from all available units.
In the paper the other day was an article about some minister who made a practice years ago of doing a daily walk through a terrible neighborhood. As he went, he made the sign of the cross and prayed for each house and it's residents...every single day. Now, it seems, that's a great place to live. Very nice. Given how long it took for his idea to work, though, I would not survive to see results should I set out to pray 38th Street into submission. I don't know what to do. Officially stumped, here.
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